CAN OUR DADS DATE
My editor keeps calling me a shitbag because
I can’t relate to women who don’t become
emotionally attached to their used tampons.
Men eat fast because they’re always afraid
that i will eat all the snacks. Same.
Same. Same same same same
same. If you think u are more depressed than
me, I urge you to “give up” Seamless for “lent.”
Catch me in Chelsea–I’ll be binge eating fried chicken
and crying about the boner between my thighs.
Pikachu was such a dick in the first episode
of Seinfeld and I really love it. Wait wat even.
Date me, i paid 75 cents for a shitty banana.
Date me, i’m staring at wikipedia page for ‘knish.’
Date me, I’m not allowed to say 'fart’ in front of my parents
and I’m chill as fuk. LOL sorry for all those retweets.
You would think we would try harder at making a better world,
but there are so many skinny white boys at this warehouse show
and I’m just crying my way through this menstrual hell hole.
I should probably feel scared of my own future,
but if you’re reading this, you know
I have seen hell and I look hot as shit.
Today is another day that Sarah Jean Alexander is alive and that makes me so happy so I made this poem that is made up of her Tweets and stuff. Go wish her a happy birthday because National Poetry Month is over but SJA is still here as hell.