How does a person cope with completing a task
to the absolute highest standard, when everything
goes exactly right. What is left to say when
there is no room for error? Does anyone have fun
anymore? I thought the aurora borealis was
something the internet made up because god
didn’t make me as beautiful as the sky. How do you
make a child feel less alone without lying to her?
If nothing happens for no reason anyway, then
I want to be done trying. Sometimes I think
it would be comfortable to hide under the covers
until I pass away and rot, but I can’t shake this
diaphanous will to live. Please continually
tell me I am wrong. You could take an ice cream
scooper and swing it at the sky but you still won’t
be able to fly. I want to be more responsible for
the disconsolate ways I make you feel at night. Nothing
will ever taste better than the time I had a bite of
vanilla sundae in my mouth and Chris Beckmeyer was
drinking hot cocoa and we kissed to see if we could make
steam pour from our mouths. This is what I mean.
People don’t want people anymore. No one tries
hard enough. And those of us that do will be immediately
made small by those of us that are smaller still.
He is afraid and so is she. The lines creased into
a person’s skin when they wake up in the morning
are infallible and beautiful but I don’t think I believe
that they exist anymore. If I need someone to hold
my hand through every door that is shut when I
approach it then I will find someone and grip them
tight. Do you remember how cold I thought my body
felt the first time I became very sick around you?
I write a lot of poems but none of them are true.
Where are we going? I have learned three mollifying
things since I have been alive:
The northern lights are real.
Children know how to lie.
Magic doesn’t happen when two mouths touch,
but we try everyday anyway.
Sarah Jeaaaaaaaaaan how do you do itttttttttttttttttttttttt.