How does a person cope with completing a task

to the absolute highest standard, when everything

goes exactly right. What is left to say when

there is no room for error? Does anyone have fun

anymore? I thought the aurora borealis was

something the internet made up because god

didn’t make me as beautiful as the sky. How do you

make a child feel less alone without lying to her?

If nothing happens for no reason anyway, then

I want to be done trying. Sometimes I think

it would be comfortable to hide under the covers

until I pass away and rot, but I can’t shake this

diaphanous will to live. Please continually

tell me I am wrong. You could take an ice cream

scooper and swing it at the sky but you still won’t

be able to fly. I want to be more responsible for

the disconsolate ways I make you feel at night. Nothing

will ever taste better than the time I had a bite of

vanilla sundae in my mouth and Chris Beckmeyer was

drinking hot cocoa and we kissed to see if we could make

steam pour from our mouths. This is what I mean.

People don’t want people anymore. No one tries

hard enough. And those of us that do will be immediately

made small by those of us that are smaller still.

He is afraid and so is she. The lines creased into

a person’s skin when they wake up in the morning

are infallible and beautiful but I don’t think I believe

that they exist anymore. If I need someone to hold

my hand through every door that is shut when I

approach it then I will find someone and grip them

tight. Do you remember how cold I thought my body

felt the first time I became very sick around you?

I write a lot of poems but none of them are true.

Where are we going? I have learned three mollifying

things since I have been alive:

The northern lights are real.

Children know how to lie.

Magic doesn’t happen when two mouths touch,

but we try everyday anyway.

Sarah Jeaaaaaaaaaan how do you do itttttttttttttttttttttttt.